We’re not going to Bethsaida

“And straightway he constrained his disciples to get into the ship and go to the other side before unto Bethsaida, while he sent the people away.” - Mark 6:45

Have you ever been lost? They asked Daniel Boone one time if he had ever been lost. Ol’ D.B. pondered quietly for a moment, and then replied: “No, but once I was a mite bewildered for 3 days.”

I guess lost can mean different things to different people. 

I am not Daniel Boone, and I have been lost.

I was a young man when I felt God’s call on my life for the first time. After high school, I studied for my BA in Theology at a place called Jackson College of Ministry in Jackson, Mississippi. After less than 2 years, without the money to continue to pay my tuition, and with flagging grades, I withdrew, and returned home in failure. It was the beginning of an existential crisis, one that quickly became a common theme in my life. Struggling to reach the destination God had placed within my heart… and failing over and over again. Slowly but inevitably, I began to question. “Why would you call me, and then all of this happen?” “Why put this in my heart, and then let every door be slammed in my face?” 

 Most of that time I felt like I was forgotten by God. I felt Lost. 

You don’t have to be a firefighter for long before you realize that “lost” is the worst thing a firefighter can be. Getting lost in a fire can have immediate and tragic consequences- forget Chicago fire- you can’t see your hand in front of your face, and it’s hot, and it’s dangerous. Nothing about that environment is survivable without layers of PPE, special training, and precautions. There’s no margin for error. Get lost in there, separated from your partner, and it could be the last thing you ever do.

Getting lost or turned around on the way to a call is just as bad, especially in your own “First Due”. (The term firefighters use for the territory assigned them) People are counting on you to be there- people in distress- and every second it takes you to get there belongs to THEM, not you. Get lost going to a call, and someone else may have to bear tragic consequences. That’s something no firefighter wants to live with. 

We train hard to try to prevent accidents like that. We spend hours every shift, usually right after lunch, making sure when the tones drop, we know where we are going, what we are doing when we get there, and what to do if things go from bad to worse. The answers to all three of these things are definitive and simple. I find that comforting, and it is probably one of the reasons I was so drawn to the fire service in the first place. I like simple questions with simple solutions. 

Now let me set the stage for some really complicated questions, and see how you would answer them.

The Sea of Galilee is the lowest freshwater lake in the world, right around 700 ft below sea level. It is only 33 miles in circumference, and  an observer standing almost anywhere along its edge can see the entire shoreline. It is also unusually warm, and surrounded by steep, rocky shore. Because of this, very dramatic and unique weather develops here. Cooler air will move in from the north, channeled southward down the Jordan river. It accelerates as it drops into the valley above the sea, falls through the warm air above it, and creates tremendous winds and storms when it hits the water. That is most likely what the disciples encountered in Mark 6:48
, and it’s here that our story plays out. 

Christ has just fed the 5000. (1)

 They are in a “desert place” probably near the town of Tiberias, on the west side of the sea. (At the beginning of the chapter they had left Jesus’ hometown, where the people’s unbelief had limited his ability to work miracles in their life- but that’s a whole message unto itself, isn’t it?) 

He sends the disciples, in a boat; before him, across the sea to Bethsaida (2) while he sends the crowd away. The disciples know where they are going. Most of them grew up on this sea. Andrew, James, John, and Peter… and  Peter’s mother and family still lived in Bethsaida. I would imagine they are glad to be going home. They most likely believed that Christ would follow them by walking the high road around the sea- a journey of a few days, and until he got there, they would finally get that rest he had offered them (verse 31). While Christ goes to a mountain to pray (probably Mt Arbel, highest point on the Sea of Galilee) the disciples set off an easy trip of an hour or so, since the sea is only 8 miles at it’s widest point. ( the average cross fitter rows 2000 meters, roughly 1/6 this distance in less than 10 minutes. Granted that’s on a rowing machine, and in the air conditioning… but have you ever rowed 2000 meters? Exactly. It’s horrible, but I digress) 

The Bible says that when even was come (about 6pm) the ship was “in the midst” of the sea, and they toiled in rowing, because of the wind blowing against their progress.  This is when Christ sees them. 

Finally, during “the fourth watch”, (between 3am and 6am) he begins to walk across the sea and would have PASSED THEM BY - Also, if you’re doing the math, the time between even and the fourth watch is a minimum of 9 hours. The disciples see him, walking on water and leap to the completely rational assumption that what they see is a spirit, and they “cry out” because they are troubled. No judgement here. I have never seen anyone walking across the water towards me in the middle of the night, in the middle of a storm. If I did, I’m not sure “troubled” is the word I would use.

Christ tells them: Be of good cheer. It is I, be not afraid.” He gets in the boat, and immediately the winds cease. You have probably heard that story a dozen times, but have you ever noticed this?

As dawn breaks, they draw in to the shore… only.... they aren’t in Bethsaida. They are in Genneserat. Genneserat is on the same side of the shore that they left 9-12 hours ago, and within a few hours walk. They are exhausted. And as they begin to ponder the events of the last few days you have to wonder how they felt. What was going through their minds?

I can imagine that I know exactly the way they felt. I can imagine that I know the questions they began to ask:

“Why the Storm, if you control them?” 

“Were you just going to leave us out there?”

And the most important question of all: 

“Why would the God of all creation, who knows everything, tell me to go somewhere he never wanted me to go in the first place ?” 

My heart burned to ask God that same question for years. Even today, I am definitely not where I felt I was “Called” to go. For a long time I struggled with that- I felt betrayed- not just by those I trusted and depended on, not just by my own shortcomings and failures, but by GOD. 

I failed for so long, trying to get to somewhere I KNEW he told me to go. And I spent all of that time wondering if the “Calling” was true and I was incapable of achieving it, or if I had been mistaken, and was being turned away by the very hand of God. 

Shocking isn’t it? 

The story in Mark 6 has been in my heart for a few years now. It made me feel better, and I wanted to write about it for much of that time, but could never find the words- and believe me, I tried. I talked about the story with everyone I knew, my Christian friends, my wife… trying to flesh out the lesson that seemed to settle my soul, but defied expression. What was it about this story? 

It is only this morning that God spoke to my heart.

We fixate on destination. And with good reason. If you do not have a destination(in this world) then you can never be sure of your direction. If you are unsure of your direction, then you are either stationary, or lost.. maybe both. 

This doesn’t hold true for our calling though, and we all have a calling. YOUR calling exists the second God lays it upon your heart- and it exists no matter where you go, or what you do. Who you are never depends on WHERE you are. The gifts and the calling of God are without repentance (they don’t go away, Romans 11:29). So let go of where you think you should be, and BE who you are called to be…. Wherever you are. The destination is irrelevant. 

God sees you. He sees the storm. He hasn’t forgotten you. He can’t. And he is intimately concerned with your life. (Isaiah 49:15 says that a mother may forget her infant child, but he will not forget you)

And the final and ultimate lesson is this: 

In those moments when you are unsure of everything, destination, direction, even survival… all you have to do is invite him into the boat. And once you do, you will realize- that was what was important all along. 

We’re not even going to Bethsaida, and it doesn’t matter.