"I am BARRABAS."

  My children will do the strangest thing before a movie plays. Whether we happen to be in a theater or snuggled up at home, doesn't seem to make a difference. As the title sequence fades, and the characters are introduced; one of my children ( usually Jaiden) will begin to "assign" characters.
 " Isabella," he will say, "You're that girl." "Daddy," he indicates someone else, " That's you."
My character is usually a sideline role, and usually not the one I would most readily identify with. For instance, During the spider man movies I got to be "Uncle Ben". The hero roles, of course, he reserves for himself. It can be quite funny at times, and I must say that I really haven't quite figured out why he does it, or how it has spread to his sister and I.

  I told you all that to explain why when I watch movies now, as the story unfolds I often wonder; "Who would I be if this story were real?" Weird, huh?


 Tonight I watched Mel Gibson's " The Passion of the Christ".  As scene after scene unfolded, I was completely engrossed, drawn into the brilliance  of this portrayal. Even though I have seen it before, I was "choked up" more than once. I became so involved in the story that I never thought to assign myself a character while the movie played.

  There were many great scenes, and later, as I recounted them in my mind I began to wonder who my character would have been. I replayed the scenes, searching for the best fit. Who would I have been if I had been there?

  Well, let's see. The movie opens with Christ's prayer in the garden, and Peter's inability to stay awake and pray with him. Later Peter lashes out, cutting off the ear of the High Priest's servant, and then Caps his performance with a denial of Christ... Not once, but three times.
   I too have "slumbered" when the need was for someone "to watch and pray"...   I have lashed out when things weren't the way I wanted them, and hurt others. I too have denied my "christianity" when I thought it inconvenient. Could my Character have been Peter?!
   What about Judas ?! Not a popular choice to identify with, But I know that I have been guilty of "selling out" and accepting something that was never God's will in exchange for betraying my own principals and convictions. I have wept over my own "thirty peices of silver".
   Maybe I was one of the Roman soldiers, demeaning and arrogant, oblivious to what is REALLY happening, and justifying my actions with " I didn't know who he was, I was just following orders!"  Was I Cassius, the soldier at the foot of the cross?

  I weighed and balanced Characters:  The woman taken in Adultery, the Sanhedrin court, Pilate and the foppish Herod, the disciple who cared for Mary. I considered Simon the Cyrene, the criminals on the other two crosses, and Barabbas.
  The scene of the crowd choosing Barrabas played again in my mind. As the condemned murderer is set free, I felt myself actually loathing him as he taunted the guards, and raised his arms in jubilant celebration. How could he not know what his freedom had cost?!  Briefly his eyes meet Christ's, and the smile fades from his twisted grin. The director intends to portray something passing between them, but what? Did Barabbas, a man already condemned, ever wonder about this man who died in exchange for his life? Did he ever try to make the best of his " second chance" ? Did he feel obligated to do something Good and right with his life afterwards? We can suppose it so, but we can't really know.

   As I sat there, considering all the players in this drama; disecting their individual faults and flaws, it suddenly dawned on me... I wasn't a single character in this film.

  I was all of them.
I am Peter. I am Cassius, and Pilate. I am the High Priest, and the angry crowd. I am the sinner forgiven, and unwilling participant drawn to the cross. I am all of the characters that lived through this story, even though it hurts me to admit it. I am nothing good, and nothing worth dying for, and he did anyways. I am all of them, and I am Barabbas.