His breathing came ragged as the Old Man turned westward, into the setting sun. There before him lay a winding river, it's crimson sparkles a tribute to the majestic sunset before him. A fish lept near the far bank, the ripples it set off flashing crimson, then ruby, then dark, in a slowly expanding circle.A few large water birds moved awkwardly through the shallows, until startled by something moving along the bank. Instantly,they bounded upwards into even more ungainly flight, wings flapping desperately for altitude. The two small deer that emerged from the brush lowered their heads to drink, unaware of the disturbance they had caused.
The land past the river rose gradually upward, gentle hills, nothing like the jagged slope he had just traversed. A forest spread northward from these hills, deep green and healthy; He could almost smell the heady scent of the cedars that reached out of it's heart. Away to the south, everything was a lush, beautiful green, the deep color that resonates in the souls of Shepherds and farmers alike. It was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen.
He drew a deep breath through his mouth, the breath one might would expect from a man that had just climbed the grade behind him. But this breath had nothing to do with physical conditioning. It was an impulse created by something entirely different. It was a sound that had started in the wind, creeping into his consciousness, becoming,... a voice.The voice was soft but easily discernible, warm and firm. It was a voice the Old Man knew, and was comfortable with, but this moment of recognition had always left him breathless. Even now, hearing the voice in his ears; he was aware of things that he had not noticed before. For instance, His ears heard the voice, but could tell no direction. And the voice echoed; no,... it flowed through him... like he was hearing it not just in his ears, but also with his heart. The voice was speaking... the voice of GOD.
"Have You seen enough?" There was nothing in the voice that hinted of the import of the statement, but the Old Man's heart leapt within him. He knew what he was being asked, And his heart stretched toward that horizon, eyes straining to drink in every detail of the scene before him. 40 years he had been longing for this place. Wishing to be right here, the people below, the promised land beyond. He would plot a way to cross, and they would move to claim the promise of Abraham; a land flowing with milk and honey. That had been the plan...until two days ago.
Slightly more than 48 hours ago the voice of God had spoken to him, telling him he would never set foot in the land before him. He would never own a piece of the promise he had carried for forty plus years. His dream was destroyed. There would be no peaceful retirement, No Bountiful farm by the banks of that river. His heart ached to taste it, touch it, smell "IT". He longed to experience it with something other than his eyes, someway to burn it into his soul. Hadn't "HE" led these people out of Egypt? Hadn't "HE" laid his life on the line over and over again for these people, negotiating against their destruction with Almighty God Himself? Why was it he had been singled out ? Why had he been deemed unworthy to hold his dream? "WHY ?"
Did these questions actually burn in the heart of Moses? When he heard God's voice, did Moses choke on the WHY? When God said " You'll die on this side of Jordan, never setting foot in the land of promise, NOW climb this mountain, take a good long look, cause that's all your getting before I kill you."
Did the heart of Moses recoil, pulling away from God in a painful "WHY?" (Deuteronomy 34, by the way.). If not, then How? How is it possible? To know the answer, I had to look back to another hillside in the life of Moses.
Forty years before this one, He had stood on another hillside, talking with God Face to face, as a man talks to his friend. God Had just affirmed that he would always be with his people, that he would "Go with them." There is a brief pause; and Moses senses that the timing is right to ask what has been burning in his heart, aching in his soul, since the day he journeyed aside to see the bush that was not consumed. He WANTS something... Moses wants to ask God For something special.
The way it is written in the King James, (Exodus 33) is as if Moses blurted it out, face down on the ground, His request having very little to do with what was going on at the time. It seems almost, well,... out of place.
And What he wants is not an assurance that everything will be perfect, that there will always be food, or water for the millions behind him. Not even an assurance that His position is secure as the head of this nation, or that his children will have wonderful lives. Not that he will have many children, and many grandchildren; bright and Healthy. It's not for wisdom, or strength, or wealth. As Moses stood there in the "Shikina", knees trembling, the mountain smoking and shaking, Moses blurted out what he thought he needed to get him through every moment that lay ahead.
What was it that would make his Faith insurmountable, unshakable ?
What would fight off the Why's in his life?
It was this: "I beseech Thee, Show Me your Glory."
No kidding.
At that moment in "The Presence." Moses could have asked for anything. ANYTHING.
So what was the most important thing in his mind? The thought that burned in his heart? "I want to see your Glory." That is what is most important to me,.. Not my survival in this wilderness, not my hunger, not my pain. God, Here and now, with this massive undertaking before me, I am asking you for one thing....
"I beseech thee, Show me your Glory."
Moses was not allowed to see God's glory, for no man could see his Glory and Live. But He Hides Moses in the cleft of a rock, covers him with his Hand, and allows him the briefest glimpse as he passes. That one glimpse was enough to get Moses through the wilderness, past the jealousy and manipulations of Korah, over numerous Foes, the backslidings of a "stiff-Necked" people, a lack of water, a lack of food.... indeed, to many trials to list. In all of this, God always gave Moses what he asked for, always provided for him and these people. But in his lifetime Moses never got the one thing He desired most- A true look into the Glory of God.
Back to the Hill Pis-Gah, Land of Moab.The last day of Moses' life.
Moses stands there drinking it all in. God Speaks again; "Have you seen enough?" One last look around, a glance downward to the camp,... Moses steadies himself, looks up into the heavens, and starts to respond in the affirmative. There is no "why me?" in the mind of Moses. He pauses in his response,... Reflective.... His Life is over, done, finished. Gone as assuredly as the wind. Still, a grin springs to his face, stretching it wide. Truth is, Moses never cared about the promised land, or anything else in this world. The "Yes." freezes on his lips as he imagines what is about to happen, as he feels the presence of GOD draw close. No, Not a simple yes. He know's what he wants to say.... He moistens his parched lips,.. Clears his throat; and as the wind begins to pick up,... Moses shouts into it's noise:
..."I beseech thee... Show me your Glory! "
